Family pictures and the art of the sideways glance

And now for the latest installment in my adventures while sorting through the family pictures spanning a 100 years. At least. You may be able to tell that I am very proud of this ongoing project but for the life of me, I'm not sure what gives me away every single time!

This week, I noticed a curious trend from pictures belonging to my grandparents on both sides. Of course they're looking young, dashing, handsome and beautiful in all of them, but inevitably, they're also looking sideways. To the left. To the right. At an angle. The pictures definitely benefit from the air of grace alternating with graveness that their beautiful profiles lend to them but I don't think it's all about showing off their best side. They made me pause and think.

My grandparents grew up at a time when photographs were still an occasion. Cameras were not a given in every household. And the opportunity still demanded an effort at dignity. Which is probably why I always think of my grandparents with awe. I didn't really get the chance to know my father's parents very well because they died when I was very young... and whatever memories I've fabricated of them while looking at their pictures are tinged with the respectability of their somber faces looking somewhere into the future (which is inevitably on the side of frame!). They weren't completely devoid of humor, I assure you... I have a few real memories tucked away of happy times spent swinging on their legs or finagling candy out of their unsuspecting kind hearts... but the pictures leave them looking forever all-knowing. Wise. With quiet dignity and romance.

And old habits die hard. This past summer, when my husband and I were visiting my family in India, we took a few pictures with my maternal grandmother - the only branch on the grandparent tree left for me. And it's with a faint smile that I now realize that my grandmother is looking off to the side even in this one, dated June 28th, 2011... in the age of digital cameras and instant gratification. My husband and I are looking directly into the camera - eyes wide open, smiling like monkeys - and there's my grandmother, seated between us... looking thoughtfully into the (sideways) distance.

Just another sign of the good ol' days. And what a pity it is to bid them farewell.

Aditi

What's Love Got To Do With It? Everything!

With Mother’s Day upon us, I find myself thinking about how lucky I was to have a mother who indeed was worth celebrating. Though she passed away a few months ago, the example of her behavior and love has had and will continue to have a great influence on me. And that legacy directly affected how I raised my own children. I am so grateful that the path she followed has helped make my own journey such a joyful one.

It wasn’t that she was a perfect mother. She did a few things that a psychologist might have raised an eyebrow at but considering she and my father had ten children, a few mistakes were bound to be made when raising us. What she did seem to be perfect at was how she made all of us feel equally loved.

One thing that is very comforting to me is that I have several hours of audio and video interviews of her sharing stories of her life. I conducted most of these interviews before I began creating video biographies professionally. These are now such a wonderful link to memories of her. For instance some of my sibling would sometimes tease her about how she couldn’t carry a tune but that never stopped her from singing in church or singing to us. Now I have video proof that though her pitch might not have been perfect, her intent was.

Mom, we were truly blessed to have you in our lives.

Bridget Poizner

Difficult memories and the art of conversation

Giving voice to one's life story can be a challenging exercise. Many of us have stories tucked away that we do not want to revisit because of the feelings of shame, guilt, pain or grief that they may resurrect. Yet for all the powerful attempts at 'tucking away', are these memories ever totally banished?

I enrolled in a memoir writing class last month. When I tried to answer why, I explained to myself that this would help me in my client interactions; help me better understand the process of remembering that I attempt to lead the people in front of the camera on. That was part of the answer but as another part of me frowned at this need to rationalize why I would want to write about my memories from childhood, I acknowledged that it was an attempt to get to know myself better. Many people whom I have been privileged to create video biographies of have commented on how the process of telling stories, retrieving memories and reflecting on the important people in their lives leads them to connect the dots between their perception of themselves and how they came to be this way. It's as if the answers were always there in their minds, only the words to articulate them had proven elusive. So talking about their memories during the video biography interview felt like someone had just added sub-titles to the reel running in their head, and had added all the background information and character motivations for it all to seem crystal clear!

That's the experience I had two days ago when writing a seemingly innocent account of the foods I remember from my childhood, and why I still hadn't purged them from my system. What was supposed to be 500 words flooded shamelessly onto 7 pages. I always knew I enjoyed food (!) but what really surprised me were the things I associated them with. And the memories I had forgotten I knew suddenly introduced themselves again. I waxed eloquent about potatoes and funerals, sweets and fasting, rice pudding and religion, and in this mish mash of ingredients, I got to know myself a little bit better. Someone else in my class commented on how this writing prompt brought some difficult memories to mind... memories about a hard childhood where food was difficult to come by. And the things that needed to be done for survival. At first it seemed impossible to produce words that would express the conflicting feelings of shame and maturity. Words that other people would read or hear about. Words that brought up memories locked away with the key swallowed for safety. But once they did start to trickle out letter by letter, it brought a sense of understanding. Forgiveness. And the opportunity for the entire family to open up about something they had all experienced but never discussed.

It was not easy. But sometimes, easy is not necessarily the order of the day.


Aditi

The Power of Video

After I conduct interviews and I start the editing process, I am always struck with how effectively video captures the personality as well as the stories of my client. Along with the family history, the gestures, laugh, twinkle in the eye and sometimes an occasional tear are there to be shared with the viewer. And when the interview is a joint one between a couple or a group of siblings, their interaction deepens the experience even further.

All of my interviews are confidential, but this couple kindly agreed to let this clip be shared. I think it's a great illustration of how meaningful a video interview can be.



--Bridget Poizner

Video Biographies: From Austin to India

So where have I been this whole past month? India. Chicago. A little town called Shelbyville. And now safely and happily back home in Austin.

Most of the trip was to visit family and to feel like a little girl once again, sleeping in 'my room' back in my parents' home. But a little part of the vacation was reserved for work.

I had been approached by a gentleman right here in Austin whose father lived in India, and well more specifically, right in the city where I grew up - New Delhi. When you ponder about the size of America and India, and then the number of people who live in each of these countries, and then the number of cities in both of these places... it felt like karma that I just happened to be visiting the very city his father would be visiting at the exact same time of the year when he's always there! So obviously, I was very excited to create his own, unique Video Biography.

And even though the worlds we inhabited were so extremely different from each other, even though we had grown up in different times in history... even though he was 50 odd years older than I am... there is something so wonderfully universal about life that the 2 hours interview session flew by without us running out of conversation. The main focus of the Video Biography was to be his career in the police service - and indeed the stories of run-ins with criminals, corrupt officials, and so on were fascinating. But more so were his memories of his childhood. His parents. The story behind his marriage. And a special message to his grandchildren.

There is something wonderfully universal about life... be it family, love or an inherent desire to do what is right. And it's stories like this one that make you pause and remember that. And be thankful for it.



Aditi

Video Biographies - Recording Family Stories

Okay... so... here's the list of the people I met with last weekend for the first time ever -

1). Great-Aunt
2). Great-Aunt's husband
3). Great-Aunt's daughter
4). Great-Aunt's daughter's daughters
5). 15 other friends of Great-Aunt

It was fun! Mind you, there was potential for things to go awry - there always is when you meet someone for the first time, but this was family and I am glad to report, it felt like it!

I have heard of and known of Great-Aunt T my whole life. And all of it was good. But none of it really gave me any insight into what her life must have been 50 years ago when she first moved to this country as a new bride... and how she's seen things evolve since then. Her family and herself included.

So I was determined to get her talking when we met. As a professional Video Biographer, I would have been ashamed of myself if I hadn't made the effort... practiced what I preach and so on! And it was so simple.

She was delighted that I cared enough to find out more about her. Her husband was bursting with stories about how tough it was to initially get passage to this new country... she was full of tales of how bewildering it was to find the right pulses in the grocery store... and from such humble stories, they progressed to more complex ones... piecing together the incredible story of a family, who moved across continents in the hope of a better life. For themselves and their unborn children. And how they succeeded, one milestone at a time.

I really enjoyed the conversation... and through learning more about them, I found out so much more about the world at that time. History. Society. Economy. Community.

In case you didn't already know, October is 'Family History Month'... and it really as simple as my experience with the Great-Aunt sounds. Just clear your throat and ask a question... any question... you'll wonder at the stories that follow. And you'll wonder why you never thought to ask before.



Aditi