Preaching What I Practice

I have always emphasized how meaningful video biographies can be for families after a loved one has passed away. I’m made aware of that all of the time when I receive notes from clients who notify me of the death of someone they had me interview and how the recording is a consolation for them. Recently, with the death of my own mother, I am personally experiencing this kind of significance since over the last few years I conducted several interviews of her sharing stories as well as her personal philosophy.

With the holiday season here, I strongly suggest that you try and record some of your family’s interactions and stories. It probably won’t be until years later that you will fully appreciate that you made the effort to do so.

Bridget Poizner

More Chance Encounters

In earlier posts, I commented about how chance encounters have affected my life and the lives of others. I had two random encounters earlier in the week that I'd like to think may influence their actions in a positive way. On Friday, I was flying back from the east coast after conducting a couple of interviews. When I went through security at Newark airport, my camera bag was selected for additional screening. This did not surprise me because it often happens if I forget to remove the shotgun microphone and place it in the bin. For obvious reasons, its shape often is something the screener wants to check out a little more closely. But this time, I had removed both it and the video camera and had them already in a bin. The agent seemed intent on finding something in particular because she was rummaging through the bag rather intently. I asked her if there was a problem and she commented that the x-ray revealed several 9-volt batteries. I explained to her that I used them for both my lapel microphones as well as my wireless ones. She then started glancing over some papers that I also had in the bag including brochures about my company. I then explained that I created video biographies for families. She then remarked that she bet I had heard a lot of interesting stories and I agreed and shared a short one I had just heard in my last interview--with no names of course to protect my client's privacy. She then asked me if she could keep one of the brochures because she thought it would be a great idea to have her mother interviewed.

The next random encounter was with a woman who sat next to me on the plane. An hour into the flight, I had my laptop open and was editing an interview and when I took a break she remarked that she had been peeking at what I was doing and was curious. After I explained to her what I did, she became very animated because she was coordinating a party in honor of her father-in-law who was turning 100 in November and thought this would be the perfect gift to him from his family. After a few minutes of conversation, she revealed that her mother-in-law was also still living and was 98! The little bit of background she gave me made me aware that their interviews would be historic as well as very interesting. We shared contact information and her last remark to me as I departed from the plane was that she was so glad she had sat next to me because she had never heard of a service like this and considering the age of her in-laws, it was time to seize the day.

So two chance encounters will hopefully generate the saving of family stories that would otherwise have eventually faded away and I LOVE THAT!
--Bridget

Looking backwards can only do so much.

I recently wrote about the need to look at the present when it comes to Genealogy.
(For the complete posting, please visit: http://www.genealogywise.com/profiles/blogs/documenting-now-for-the-future)

Too often when it comes to preserving family history, our instinct is to focus on the stories of our ancestors... my question today is, 'What about you?' What about your story and the people you have touched in the journey you call your life?

One day, you will be on someone's family tree and what a valuable legacy it would be for them to have more than your face and date of birth to know you by.

Meeting the 'one'.

The love story is a big part of the Video Biographies I have been fortunate to create for people thus far. Not by design though. It is one topic nobody is shy to talk about and one that needs the least amount of prodding on my part.

And they all make me go, 'Awww'.

'The photographer at the wedding took something like a 100 pictures. When we got back from our honeymoon, he called to say that none of them came out! So there we were... one week after the wedding, gathering everyone we could to come to our pretend wedding at the church once again just so that we could get the pictures. And you'll notice there are no flowers, no maids of honor because no one was available, and my dad had just had his tooth removed so he wasn't really smiling as he walked me down the aisle... it was heartbreaking at the time. But we can laugh now.'

'You know in those days, weddings weren't as elaborate as they are now. My mother made my wedding dress.'

'Well, the first time L saw me was through the peephole of her apartment. I was a friend of her brother's and he thought we should meet. She, on the other hand, expected a writer to be tougher, sadder, weirder, long-haired... something like that. It was quite a disappointment for her, I learned later, to find regular, normal-looking me!'

'We were in Elementary School together.'

'I've been married 54 years. One wife.'

'I had a rule. I wasn't going to ask someone to marry me unless I'd lived with them for 6 months. So at the end of the 6 months, I made dinner and waited for her to come home. And then I got down on one knee... and she said, 'Oh no!' We're still married.'

The 'I'm not full of myself' syndrome...

A while back, I made it known to friends and clients that I would be traveling to San Diego on a work-cum-leisure trip in July (7th to the 21st to be precise). The main goal is to spend time with my husband's family and escape the brutal Austin heat. But when someone I know requested I create her husband's Video Biography during this trip, I agreed and decided to extend that offer to anyone else who might have relatives / friends in San Diego - minus any travel charges of course!

Well, it turns out that someone did. Paul* had always thought his grandfather had led a full life... and though he knew the highlights, he wanted to get to know him better. He lived close enough to his grandfather, so it would be safe to surmise that he had had years and years of opportunity to acquaint himself with the person his grandfather was. But unfortunately that was not the case. They met at birthdays, anniversaries, family reunions and occasionally over dinner... and the conversation inevitably revolved around how the day had been, what game was playing on TV, girlfriend trouble, aches and pains... in the midst of all the high drama of daily life, who had time to reminisce about the past? I can't say I blame them... I've been guilty of exactly the same thing in the past.

But this was not going to continue any longer. After discussing it with the rest of the family, Paul decided to commission a Video Biography of his grandfather... Enter 'Save Their Story'. It was a wonderful gesture on his part and as Paul was about to open the door to his grandfather's home to tell him the news, he couldn't help but feel excited. Men aren't always good with words, and Paul regarded this as just the right way to convey to his grandfather how much he loved and valued him.

Needless to say, Paul was surprised when his grandfather declined to get interviewed for the purpose of the Video Biography. His reasons were -
a). He was too old to be 'prattling' about his life like a little child.
b). You can put your money to better use.
c). Who would want to hear an old man go on?
d). Would this be shown on TV?

Even after Paul clarified to him that the Video Biography would be copyrighted in his name and that it wouldn't make his way to the television or even cinema halls, grandfather was reticent. Paul pointed out that it wasn't expensive, especially not with the whole family chipping in. And as far as who would want to hear an old man go on, well, he did. So did his cousins. And their parents. And well, most everyone who knew him.

But no go. More doubts popped up in grandfather's mind.
'I don't know how to be in front of a video camera.'
'I'll tell you my stories. Then you tell them to your children. Problem solved.'
'It's vain to keep on talking about yourself.'

When it became very apparent that his grandfather was determined not to go ahead with it, I advised Paul that he drop the idea... at least for now. You couldn't force the man! What ended up happening though is that we're talking about a 'Tribute Interview' Video Biography to be created for his grandfather instead. Come July, the entire Johnson* family - extended and immediate - hope to get together and create a Video about Paul's grandfather, pieced together from their various perspectives and stories of him through the years. Paul already knows what stories he wants to share, his little niece is going to be interviewed alongside the little wooden push-cart that grandfather made for her, and the grown-ups are already stocking up on boxes and boxes of Kleenex because they have a feeling this is going to be an emotional one. Hopefully the Video will be ready in time for grandfather's 75th birthday that's not that far away.

Maybe that will make him change his mind.

*Names have been changed to respect their privacy.